Born Schizophrenic: A Mother's Search for Her Family's Sanity by Susan Schofield

Author:Susan Schofield [Schofield, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-06-01T07:00:00+00:00

Part Three

Chapter 23

Goodnight, Honey

January 8 th, 2014

“Honey had a seizure.” Michael stands before my bed and I sit up without thinking. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.

Bodhi just got out of the hospital after six weeks inpatient. He’s on a higher dosage of Seroquel now and it appears to be working. At least he’s sleeping better. I follow Michael into the hallway where we sit with Honey, her fifteen-year-old body trembling, her eyes rolling over. This is it.

“I’m going to take her to the vet,” Michael wells up.

“I know.” I let my tears flow. It’s hard for me to cry these days because of all the meds I’m taking to keep myself together. They help me not cry so I can function every day. But when the pain is too overwhelming, I manage to release the tears. And I need this release. We’ve been preparing for this moment for a couple years now, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

“What are we going to tell Jani?”

“We have to tell her the truth.”

I hug Honey close and kiss her all over. “I love you, Honey.” I know this is the last time I will ever hold her, but right now she’s still breathing air and I’m happy to have this time with her.

***

Michael calls me from the vet’s office and I get to tell her how much I’ve always loved her. “She hears you,” Michael is crying over the phone. After he hangs up, I wallow in bed, waiting for his next call. The Call. I reminisce over our lives up until this point. How much we’ve been through. Honey was always by our side.

A few minutes later, his call comes in. “She’s gone,” he says, softly. We share a long cry over the phone, reliving years of memories. “She went peacefully. The doctor didn’t need much morphine,” He replays the night for me. “I even gave her a chance to go back before we got down to the car. I asked her if she wanted to go back upstairs, or to the vet,” he hard-swallows. “She got into the car and laid down on the floor, just like when you brought her home that first night.”

“She had a good life. I was happy when she made it to ten, then eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen. Remember, she had a problem with her liver when we first got her?”

“Yeah, I do.” He sniffs. “They’re going to cremate her and send us the ashes.” Then, he takes another deep breath. “I called Scarlet. I’m going to pick her up so she can help with Jani.”

“Yes, that’s a great idea.” Scarlet will help soften the blow for Jani and Bodhi.

***

I can’t even lift my head off the pillow when Friday sneaks into my bedroom later that night. When Honey was thirteen, the vet told us she only had a couple more years to live. At the time, Jani and Michael were volunteering at the animal shelter. They first saw this beautiful Border Collie on a Friday.

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